Colossians 3:18

Colossians 3:18 - 4:1
Living correctly within human authority structures

Wives and Husbands

Wives

The wife should be 'in subjection' to the husband (v18)

1. 'Subjection' is used here instead of obedience (as of children); the husband is not supposed to be the parent of the wife
2. Subjection is also something that all Christians do to one another. (eph 5:21)
3. Subjection involves deferring to another, in this case based on the role of the husband.
4. Subjection does not imply inequality! Christ is in subjection to the Father; he is not worth less as a result.

See 1 Cor. 11:3

This is scary because she needs to do this regardless of the actions of the husband (excepting cases where it would violate a command of Scripture)

1. Subjection isn't unpleasant sounding...if the husband is kind, loving, and selfless (as he should be).
2. Subjection sounds terrifying if the husband is unkind, unloving, and selfish.
Cross Reference : 1 peter 3:1-6

Apply - How should wives be in subjection?

1. Understand that there is a role difference.
2. Understand that there is not a value difference.
3. Follow the husband in all biblical areas.

Wives - How can I prepare to be in subjection correctly in situations that it won't be easy to be so?

Husbands

Love your wife (v19)

1. Put her interests ahead of your own.

Ephesians 5:25-33 adds the phrase 'as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself up for her'.
Frankly, the term love already has the implication of giving oneself up, but the example of Christ is quite vivid.

2. As with the wife's submission, this is something all Christians should do to one another (John 15:12), but it is done with higher priority in to the wife.

Don't be embittered (v19)

1. The text doesn't tell us why we would be embittered; that is not necessary to know.
2. The text does tell us that we are not allowed to be embittered.
Speculation

I think that bitterness could be the result of the husband tiring of his role (being selfless, i.e. truly loving) when his wife isn't fulfilling hers, and resenting the wife as a result. Again, in the ideal marriage, this is less likely as the wife wouldn't take advantage of the selflessness of the husband. But, as with the wife's role, it becomes scary when the spouse takes advantage of the other's role; in this case, the wife would benefit from the consistent care and labor of the husband (to treat his wife as more important than himself), but would not provide any 'subjection' or reciprocity.
This would, at least in myself, provide quite an opportunity toward bitterness. Such is not allowed however...

Husbands aren't allowed to be bitter towards their Wives

Apply - How should we love our wives?

We should care more for her welfare and pleasure than for our own.

Phil 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves"
Work for her; learn to cook, clean, or whatever else is helpful.
Care for her; provide the encouragement, support, and kindness you would love want (and that Christ has demonstrated).
Enjoy her; this is easy sometimes and work others.

Husbands - What should I change to make my wife more important than myself?
Husbands - What should I do to ensure that I don't become embittered to my wife?

Children and Fathers (Parents)

Children

Obey your parents (v20)

1. Do what they say.
2. On a broader note, this is again a fulfillment of the authority structures given by God

Apply - How should we obey our parents?

As this isn't a children's class, this probably doesn't apply directly to us.
But - many of us are parents, and this command tells us what we should help our kids do.
We should teach our kids that :

1. God has placed their parents in authority over them (role, not value)
2. God commands them to obey their parents
3. It pleases God when children obey their parents (positive - not just the stick of authority)

Fathers (Parents)

What does it mean to not exasperate your children? (v21)

1. The result, losing heart, explains the concept of 'exasperation'.

The word used here is the idea of irritating, provoking, or embittering.
The idea seems to be that the provoking is the result of the parents being a poor authority, perhaps by being overly harsh/strict, unkind, or authoritarian.

2. Note that again...the warning to the one in authority is to not care for the welfare of the other.

Apply - How should we avoid exasperating our kids?

1. Note the consistency in rules for the 'authority' - kindness and consideration for the other is the rule.
2. Recall that, as with the other roles, no difference in worth or value is implied. Children are young, but they are not worth any less than we are.
3. Rules made by parents should encourage obedience in a way that doesn't discourage the children.

Parents - What things should be done to help our kids not lose heart?
Parents - What sort of rules should we avoid?
Parents - What should be done to encourage obedience?

Slaves and Masters (Employees and Employers)

Slaves (Employees)

Note : There are many differences between slaves and employees, the largest of which is that employees aren't bound to their job. This passage is not arguing that you should never leave a job, or that you should work from sunup to sundown. It does argue that slaves owe their master obedience and hardwork, principles which apply to employees as well.
Who is the slave (employee) actually serving when he serves his master?

God.
Does this apply to the other role relationships as well? (answer is yes, as following each is a command from God)

What is meant by 'the reward of the inheritance'?

a) A special reward for hardwork?
b) Heaven?
I would argue for heaven, because of the definite article ('the'); this is also consistent with the idea that we live our lives obediently on earth with the goal of heaven, our reward.

What is "the consequence of the wrong which he has done" in v25?

a) Wrongdoers (not Christians) are sent to Hell (Christians reveal their Christianity by their actions, as Matt 7:16 "by their fruits you will know them" and large parts of 1 John)
b) There is some punishment applied to Christians in mind here (as in Heb 12:6, "for whom the Lord loves, he chastens")
Honestly...I'm not sure. Either way there is a consequence, and either way I am to avoid the sin.

What does the biblical slave (employee) look like?

1. No bad attitudes
2. Hard working (as for the Lord)

Employees - Do we work for our bosses the way we would work for Christ?

Masters (Employers)

Justice and Fairness; Why is this important?

We do "knowing that you too have a master in heaven"
Matt 7:12 - "treat people the same way you want them to treat you"

Apply - What does the biblical master (employer/boss) look like?

1. The biblical master looks out for the interests of others.

Employers/Bosses - What should we do to be just and fair bosses?