relational theory:

8 - parenting


parenting is hard work. it grows you in ways you don't want, and requires lots of effort.
this is not an exhaustive list of skills; it's just an intro to shape soe thoughts before you get the point of really doing this stuff.
 
also. you may think you are going to agree with your spouse about how to do this. that is almost certainly overly positive - it will take you lots of 'discussion' to get there. expect to argue, and don't let yourself be a jerk loser just because "your kids are at stake".
 

principles

love

the most important thing you can do for your kid - love them, and help them to understand that.
this takes quite a bit of work.

authority

authority and role
an understanding of place.
"you can't tell me what to do"
we are all under god - he can tell us what to do, and he can tell us to listen to others.
major life advantage
what can you do in life without this?

difficulty in consistency
- enforce what you say
peacefulness (family reward)
a result of good discipline.

skills

moral knowledge and practice
wisdom
habits/life skills
education

enjoyment

aesthetics and beauty, celebration


phases

babies

- breastfeed those beasts if you can
- hold your kids, smile to them.
- we believe in starting discipline here
- we like them sleeping away from us
- get ready to lose some sleep
- we like schedules
- we like reading to them

toddlers

- you really need to consistently enforce discipline
- play with your kids
- we like reading to them
- teach them to clean up after themselves, and only to play with one or two toys at a time

kids

- we like them to read
- hang out with your kids
- they can do more than you think they can

teens

- transition them to adulthood/friendship