relational theory:

family and background


intro: nature / nurture.
the nature vs nurture debate will never be solved because the factors can't be isolated.
who's to say why we turn out the way we do?
 
at minimum however, it's true that we are extremely impacted by our family background.

your history:
analysis on parents:
what are the worst things about his parents?
what are the best things about his parents?
 
what are the worst things about her parents?
what are the best things about her parents?

other significant factors:
what other events have shaped who you are? traumas, events, and history here...
it is hard to emphasize how much these things can effect your relationship.
sadly, the biggest, most impactful events shape us most ... and are the hardest to talk about.

it's effect on you:
you are your parents, you marry your parents
usually, those of us with the greatest need to recognize this have the least desire to do so.
in what ways is your relationship similar to your parents marriage? how is it different?
in what ways do you see yourself like your parents, or reacting against them?
how would you characterize your relationship with your parents? your inlaws?

doing the right thing:
dealing with your parents:
read eph 6 on parents (v1-3)
as always, this is not conditional...
- honor. you have some obligation to provide for them.
do you need to obey your parents?

- honor. you have some obligation to provide for them.
primarily financial, but built on broader principles.
elders are to be honored. it's respect for role/work, with financial expression.
what is this going to look like for you?

theories of progress
you don't need to believe that you will undo all of your parents mistakes in your life to have hope.
at the very minimum, you should believe that you can undo many of them.