affection
sexual desire is linked to physical drive and relational affection.
consistent affection through the day is part of your foreplay.
physical stimulation and readiness
what to look for. how to get there.
must we always have foreplay?
- you are biblically required to care for your spouse sexually
1 cor 7:1-6
1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.
3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does
not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer,
and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command.
this does not entitle you to demand that they care for you. it requires you to care for them.
- how often would you like to have sex?
expectation vs reality (everyone thinks all the time...)
is it worth scheduling, or would you rather wait for the urge to strike?
(we are huge on the scheduling. set expectations, and meet them.
nobody complains that they have too much sex.)
- biblical ethics: is anything not allowed biblically
not as far as i know. so long as both people want to do it.
- so...uh...
work to communicate to the other person what you like.
set a pattern of giving some form of feedback when you like some thing, and then pay attention to the other persons cues.